try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We're not piercing ourselves today.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
