I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
