before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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