i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
