summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
