I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
