my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
