happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize