The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
