Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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