Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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