we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Can I color on your dick again?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
