I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
