so explain again why im purple
no
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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