On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
