All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
