i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
