So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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