Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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