Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize