um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
