Can i not drive my cunt home
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
