I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just threw up on my dentist
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
