i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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