I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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