umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I understand Curling. That high.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
