He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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