The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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