I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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