i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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