she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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