After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
