Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
