Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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