Small penises have feelings too.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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