We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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