I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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