good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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