I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
