let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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