She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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