I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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