in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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