he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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