I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
