he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
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It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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