guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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