your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
