we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just google imaged poop.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
