I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
