Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
