You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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