You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
