Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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