butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
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Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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