i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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