You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
