So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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