i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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