just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
