her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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