Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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